Three Jain Sisters’ Candid Reflections on Faith, Gender & Modern Life

• Ishwari, Rucha, and Shruti—siblings from a Jain family—bring their unique voices as working professionals and thoughtful practitioners of faith to reflect on how Jainism plays out in real life.
• Women bear the brunt of upholding rituals, especially around food and household duties, despite the religion’s egalitarian ideals.
• Though Jainism promotes equality, social customs often restrict women more than men—in temple rules, menstrual taboos, and ideas about liberation.

Jainism, one of the world’s oldest religions, is built on the foundational principles of ahimsa (non-violence), aparigraha (non-possession), and anekantavada (many-sidedness of truth). But how do these ideals play out in everyday life, especially for women who are expected to uphold them and pass them on from generation to generation?

In this candid conversation, the three sisters from a Jain family offer a unique window into how these ancient teachings manifest in contemporary life, particularly through the lens of gender. Meet Ishwari, a Design Manager working for an MNC in Mumbai, a mother of two boys, and the eldest of three sisters. She has taken a certificate course on the philosophy of Jainism at Mumbai University. Dancing, cooking, and strength training are some of the activities that bring her inner peace. If there was one key principle or North Star for her to follow, it would be ‘live and let live.’ Rucha is the middle child in this trio. She is a Design Lead at a big tech firm. A feminist since a very early age, Rucha did a project on Women in Jainism for her master’s program. Her bold thoughts and actions have made life easier for a lot of her younger cousins. Shruti is the youngest of the three sisters and works in the MD’s office of a capital markets firm. She loves reading and traveling. She values empathy, compassion, and curiosity, which guide her approach to her relationships, work, and life.

Their varied life stages and experiences offer a glimpse into how faith is lived through choices, contradictions, and the quiet ways belief shapes everyday life.

Growing up in a Jain household

Growing up in a Jain household means living where religion isn’t just a part of life; it is life itself. Every meal, every prayer, and every daily routine carries the mark of centuries-old traditions. “Religion has always been intertwined with daily life, whether through food habits, prayer timings, or rituals,” Rucha recalls. As children, they followed these practices without question, but time brought different perspectives, especially about how differently these rules touched the lives of men and women.

The kitchen stands as the clearest symbol of this divide. Food, at the heart of Jain’s philosophy, becomes more than just eating. But as Ishwari points out, this spiritual practice falls heavily on one side: “The burden of maintaining food restrictions, ensuring strict timings, and preparing everything fresh falls almost entirely on women. Even something as simple as peeling cabbage becomes a task due to the philosophy of minimising harm to organisms.”

However, Ishwari has noticed a shift when men actively participate in kitchen duties. When they take on the effort of meal preparation, navigating the same restrictions and rituals, there is a greater awareness of the labour involved, and responsibility begins to be more evenly shared.

Unequal Burden: When Practice Diverges from Philosophy

At a philosophical level, Jainism does not explicitly place men above women. Shruti puts it plainly: “If you look at just the religion, there is actually very little difference in how women are supposed to practice. But then again, how it happens in day-to-day life is different.” The ideals may preach equality, but reality bends under the weight of societal norms.

One simple example is the act of entering a temple. In theory, both men and women are expected to cover their heads as a mark of respect. In practice, no one pays attention if a man doesn’t do it. Women, on the other hand, instinctively follow the rule, not just out of a personal belief but because tradition has trained them to uphold these customs more diligently.

These disparities extend beyond the temple into the spaces of celebration. Ishwari recalls how dancing had always been a joyful expression in the community. “In our circle, everyone from grandparents to children danced together. But lately, some religious leaders have discouraged women from dancing, claiming it’s inappropriate. It’s hard to say if this is rooted in doctrine or just personal bias.”

And then there is the question of liberation itself. Rucha pointed to a more striking example: some Jain sects believe that women cannot attain moksha (liberation) in their present form. If salvation itself is gendered, what does that say about the way faith is practised in everyday life?

Beyond customs and rituals, a gap also exists in access to knowledge. Shruti, who attempted to pursue a Master’s in Philosophy to better understand Jainism, realised how crucial education is in shaping one’s relationship with faith. “Many Jain scriptures are written in ways that do not explicitly assign gender roles, yet societal practice imposes them. A lot gets lost in translation, making it important to revisit and reinterpret religious texts with fresh perspectives.”

Faith in 60 Seconds: The Cost of Bite-Sized Wisdom

One particularly interesting development is finding Jain religious leaders on Instagram. Traditionally, monks do not use technology, as Jainism discourages the use of electricity. While some have relied on disciples to spread their messages online, direct engagement has been rare. That’s why it stood out when Rucha came across a religious leader actively using the platform. “He speaks in a way that resonates with us,” she notes. “His messages aren’t gender-specific or prescriptive about what men or women should do. Instead, he talks about relationships in a way that focuses on mutual understanding rather than imposing roles based on gender.”

This shift signals a new way of spreading religious thoughts, one that is less about rigid doctrine and more about relatability. Yet, the ease of access also comes with a downside.

Complex theological debates, once carefully dissected in scholarly circles, now risk being flattened into catchy soundbites. The depth of scriptures, meant to be read with contemplation, is often repackaged into digestible but diluted wisdom.

Still, as Rucha sees it, engagement matters. “Reading scriptures is valuable,” she says, “but finding new ways to share these ideas is just as important.” The challenge, then, is not just in making religious teachings accessible but in ensuring that what is shared still carries the depth, nuance, and introspection that these traditions demand.

The Challenges of Interfaith Marriage in Jainism

In India, where Hinduism dominates the religious landscape, Jain practices have long existed in close proximity to Hindu traditions, often blending in certain aspects while maintaining distinct boundaries. But what happens when those boundaries are tested in the most personal way through marriage?

For Rucha, this question was not theoretical. Her interfaith marriage brought her face-to-face with the realities of blending traditions. “Interfaith relationships are not easy, primarily because of food,” she admitted.

Food, in Jainism, is more than nourishment; it is a deeply spiritual practice tied to ideas of non-violence.

Unlike Hindu vegetarianism, Jain dietary restrictions go further, often dictating not just what can be eaten but when, how it is prepared, and even how ingredients are stored. The fear that interfaith marriage could lead to the dilution of these traditions looms large in many Jain families, Rucha added. 

Yet, Rucha’s experience has been relatively smooth, largely because she was never a strict follower of rituals to begin with. What made her transition easier was the fact that her husband’s family is not deeply religious. Their approach to festivals has been one of mutual respect rather than rigid adherence. Diwali, for example, is celebrated in both Jain and non-Jain ways, without pressure to conform. “I don’t expect my husband to follow Jain practices, especially during Parushan, and he doesn’t expect me to adopt his traditions either,” she said. The absence of strict religious expectations on either side has allowed them to create a marriage built on shared respect rather than forced assimilation.

But Rucha acknowledges that her case is not the norm. “People are still not very open to interfaith relationships,” she noted. The reluctance often stems from how deeply Jain practices are woven into daily life, making it difficult for families to accept different traditions. The structure of the family also plays a crucial role. Rucha and her husband live independently, so religious expectations from her are minimal. Had she been in a joint family with deeply religious in-laws, her experience might have been vastly different.

Ishwari knows a couple in an interfaith marriage where the wife, while continuing to practice her own faith, had to adapt to Jain customs from food choices to daily rituals.“In theory, interfaith marriages allow both partners to maintain their beliefs, but in practice, it depends on the family you marry into,” she says.

Just as interfaith marriages require negotiation and adaptation, women often navigate religious customs in different ways. This was evident in how these sisters navigated the complexities of menstrual taboos in different ways, each shaping their perspectives based on personal experience and life circumstances. In her new home, she observed and adapted to the practice of sitting aside for three days, but rather than seeing it purely as a restriction, she viewed it as a brief respite from daily household responsibilities. However, her sisters, Shruti and Rucha, questioned this practice, pointing out that accepting such customs reinforces them for others in the family.

Over time, their discussions evolved, and Rucha reflected on how perspectives shift with changing life settings. Living in an interfaith marriage with just her husband, she realised that rigid traditions become harder to maintain when household responsibilities are shared equally. Shruti, too, acknowledged the role of respect in these practices. She lived with a college friend whose mother adhered to religious customs, and out of respect, she chose to accommodate them. Their journeys highlight the nuances of religious traditions, personal agency, the evolving nature of beliefs shaped by individual circumstances, and the battles women choose to pick.

Jain Women as Keepers and Reformers

The question of women’s roles in Jainism is layered with tradition, duty, and the slow but undeniable push for change.

Across generations, women have been the custodians of religious customs, but what happens when they seek to reshape these traditions rather than just uphold them?

Shruti sees this shift beginning within the family itself. “In family settings, women have always been the keepers of tradition. But I think there’s a growing opportunity to redefine what that means. For instance, women can educate themselves about the scriptures and challenge outdated interpretations.” Her words hint at a quiet but steady rebellion, one that does not discard faith but rather engages with it critically.

Rucha extends this idea beyond the home, pointing to the potential of community spaces. “Community gatherings, like Mandals, can also be powerful spaces. Women often come together in these settings, and these can serve as platforms for fostering dialogue about gender and equality.” These gatherings, traditionally spaces of devotion and ritual, can also be meeting grounds for reinterpreting Jain principles through a modern lens.

Ishwari, ever pragmatic, emphasises the role of education. “When women understand the philosophical foundations of Jainism, they’re better equipped to advocate for inclusive practices. It’s about bridging the gap between the teachings and their implementation.” For her, knowledge is the key that allows women to move beyond ritualistic observance.

Conclusion

The journey of Jain women, from kitchen to temple, from ritual to reinterpretation, reveals a faith at a crossroads. The core principles of Jainism, ahimsa, anekantavada, and aparigraha offer a philosophical foundation that inherently supports equality, yet the lived experiences tell a different story. What emerges from the sisters’ narratives is an invitation to examine it anew, to peel back layers of patriarchal interpretation that have settled over centuries like dust on ancient texts.